Get all 5 Arne Åsmund releases available on Bandcamp and save 20%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Fever Dreams, When the Circus Came to Town, Satan Claus, The Beauty of Psychiatry, and Storytime.
1. |
Burn Baby Burn
02:41
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I'm gonna tie you to a pile of wood and pour gasoline all over you
You'll be begging me to stop but I'll see this through
When the flames touch your skin, you'll begin to scream
And I'll be savouring the view, it’s just like a beautiful dream
Burn baby burn..
I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and then it’s time for a barbeque
Ain't no need to bring hot-dogs now that I've got you
When the flames are almost done I'll shed a tear
Before I put you out with a mix of piss and beer
Burn baby burn..
When you're nothing but wet ashes and dirt, I'll gather you up
Put what's left of you in a half empty beer bottle
And later I'll spread your ashes in a dumpster somewhere downtown
Burn baby burn..
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2. |
Evelyn
04:03
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When I met Evelyn, seven years ago in a bar, we drove my car and parked in a dark unmarked spot behind the barn. She told me I was beautiful. I took off her clothes. Cuffed her to the door. Almost got her unconscious with the first swing of my baseball bat, but baby I still thrilled her well, for many hours until daybreak, when her neck broke by that last stroke from this hammer I swung so fine. And everything was good. I stayed for as long as I could and thanked her for a lovely night before I kissed her and set her flesh alight.
I met Mary on New Years Eve, at a barn dance. I hit her in the head as she took off my pants and I tied her up to the electric fence. She was screaming something unintelligible, so I cut off her ears, and stuffed them in her mouth. But she kept moaning and foaming and bleeding and crying and dying until morning came, and I had to go away again. I gave her my favourite gasoline can, put a cigarette in her hand, and that was the end.
Carol I met at a metro stop in Rome, she told me: Well I don't care where you're from, as long as I can take you home. I said it was arrangeable. She laid down by the fire. I tied her up with barb wire and as she screamed higher and higher I just tightened the knot round her neck a bit tighter, and when her head popped she even bled out the fire. Thats precision bleeding to admire. I found her eyes in the remnants of her head. Sat by the telly and ate them with some bread.
I met Jill when I was sailing through Greece. She gave me her address and her keys. Said please join me for some wine and cheese. We'll watch the stars and it'll be beautiful. I gave Jill my word. The last thing she ever heard, was me whispering baby relax, before hitting the back of her head with my axe and the blood from the cracks bled both of us bloodred. Afterwords I assumed she was dead. So I lay down beside her on her bed looked into her eyes and said: Baby give me head.
So now I’m single again, it’s true! And I'm out there searching for you, to find your eyes so sweet and blue. I'll tell you that you're beautiful. You'll invite me home, where we will be all alone. I'll ask to borrow your phone, but instead I'll go searching through your flat. For a:
Shovel or an axe or a fork or a hammer, an umbrella or a knife or a bottle or a kettle, or a hair dryer wire or a chair or a flare or dog or a pen or a shoe or a blender. A frying pan or a frozen leg of lamb. Or a stick or a bat or some poison for rats or some tape made for raping, a stapler for stapling you up to the ceiling. A plate or a crate or a plant or a gun. No fuck guns, they're no fun, but a saw or spike or a stone or a bike or a rope or a chain or a shoe or a cane or peeler a mattress a rose or a pint glass. A hat or a crate full of mouse traps. A bat or a bowl or a cat or a bread, anyway my love I'll get you dead.
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3. |
Stalker
03:53
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When the wine is gone you kill all the lights and go to bed
I watch you undress from behind your garden shed
In the dead of night i crawl into your house and enter your room
I can almost see you smiling in the gloom
If you say you don't want me here, then I'll leave at once
But if not I'll watch you sleep, till the morning comes
As the sun rises you slowly wake and our eyes meet
You try to get up but I've bound your hands and feet
You start mumbling something as I present to you my selection of whips
But I can not hear a word due to the duct tape upon your lips
If you say you don't want me here, then I'll leave you right away
But if you remain silent, then I'll stay a while and play
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4. |
Fireflies
04:33
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You’ve been coming around here, for far too long
Now this ain’t no place to be, for someone so young
If you come around tomorrow I swear I’ll try
To find some way to calm you down, and drive into the night
Oh in the hour of your demise I’ll dance beneath the fireflies
Humming to the music of your cries
And lit by all these embers I will look into your eyes until
All the fire within them slowly dies
I feel like I’m dreaming, and I'm pretty drunk
You're kicking and screaming, in the back of my trunk
Oh I've got a secret place that I think you'll like
As I gently torture you to death, in the moonlit hills tonight
Oh in the hour of your demise I’ll dance beneath the fireflies
Humming to the music of your cries
And lit by all these embers I will look into your eyes until
All the fire within them slowly dies
With most of your blood gone, you still keep holding on
All through the night
Your pale limbs are trembling, and your life is ending
By dawns early light
Then when your heart dies, I watch the sunrise
Holding your hand
And I know I won’t be, feeling this happy, ever again
Will you please just help me sing along
Oh in the hour of your demise I’ll dance beneath the fireflies
Humming to the music of your cries
And lit by all these embers I will look into your eyes until
All the fire within them slowly dies
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5. |
Die Die Die
04:48
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I was out on the field, working, on a hot summers day. I was tired and sweaty as hell, I remember it well. Then around five or six, the exact time I couldn't tell, my wife, the one true love of my life rang the dinner bell. I found her sitting by the kitchen table, she had been crying again. That's all she ever did those days if anything. I finished dinner and poured myself a whiskey, and then she came after me into the living room and said she had something to tell me.
Please baby can you not see, it's over. We can no longer be, together. You're not the man for me, unless you're sober. And that you have not been, since sometime october.
I started cursing and screaming, told her to go to hell. When I threw her across the kitchen table, she started to whine and yell. She said: oh don't you touch me you freak, cause i'll tell. You sick bastard you need help cause your brain is not functioning well.
Oh baby you don't mean that?
Oh yes I'm sorry but you're a psychopath
I put my foot in her face, it made her nose fly all over the place. Afterwards i punched her with the old frying pan, and it broke off her hand. With a saw I cut off her feet, and with the hammer I broke all her teeth.
With the ice cream spoon I dug out her eyes, and then I filled her stomach with knives. She moaned “baby you're killing me”, and I said “well yeah”. And as she started puking intestines I sang into her ear:
Diediediediediediedie...
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6. |
Belle of the Ball
02:38
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You were the belle of the ball and you shone like a queen
The most beautiful girl that I had ever seen
But in the dark of that night, somehow you could not see
You were dancing with somebody other than me
When the band said goodnight I went out into the street
Waiting to sweep you right off of your feet
But it did not go exactly such as I planned
And you left with some other man in your hand
But I know, wherever you go. I'll be right by your side
And I know, no matter what they say, you will fall for me one day
And I know in the end we will be together
I followed you home through the streets on that night
To make sure that this guy was treating you right
You said goodnight as you came to your door
But oh he was clearly looking for more
I watched as he violently grabbed for your hand
And I had to intervene that’s the gentleman I am
I called him a dick and then I hit him with a brick
And then his skull broke and he fell down and died real quick
Oh and I know, wherever you go. I'll be right by your side
And I know, no matter what they say, you will fall for me one day
And I know in the end we will be together
Oh I sure got to show you how much I care for you
How I’ll protect you and always I'll be there for you
Now I'm just waiting here, for you to come around
I’m at the mental institution on the other side of town
Oh but I know, wherever you go. I'll be right by your side
And I know, no matter what they say, you will fall for me one day
And I know in the end we will be together
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7. |
Down to Size
03:28
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Oh what have you done? Oh what have you gotten into now you little fool?
She really thinks you'll stay. She really thinks you care for her. Find a pleasant way out.
Take her to the lake. Take her to the lake and let her have a glass of wine. It won't be that hard.
Because she won't be afraid. She won't be afraid at all as you lay her to rest.
Take her by the hand. Drag her by the hand into the darkness of the woods.
And find a peaceful place. And dig it real deep. Her eyes are closed, still fast asleep.
Cut her down to size. Cut her into small, small pieces and throw them in. It won't be that hard
Because she won't feel a thing. She won't feel a thing at all as you take her apart.
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8. |
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A crazy old one-legged drunk sat by the end of the bar
Telling old tales that no one believed
He told of battles and storms and a girl he once loved
Back when he was out sailing the seas
Her name was Evelyn, he had asked her to marry him
And she had said yes right away
He wanted nothing more than to stay there
But his ship set sail early morning the very next day
They were to join battle, far out to sea
He could not tell her how long gone he'd be
He held her hand and she gave him a photograph
And said I'll be waiting for you right here
And I tell you off I'll go to the seas once more
Sail to the land that I love, find the girl that I'm dreaming of
And never again will I return here to your shore
No I'll let you rot and die in this filthy land of yours
Screaming he’s thrown out into the street
Landing face first in the dirt
You crazy old one-legged drunk go on home to your cardboard box
You're not getting no more free liquor here
They blew my leg of, I am unable to do labour
I was sent home to starve and die here
He picked his hat up, said enough with you devils
And then he started stumbling off towards the pier
He cried oh my dear Evelyn
I ought have never left you at all
The fog embraced him, the sea arose
And carried the sailor home
And I tell you off he went, to the seas once more
Sailed to the land that he loved and he married that whore
And never again will he return here to your shore
No he’s sailing on forever more
The crazy old one-legged drunk was never seen again
No one knew where he could be
All they found was his hat, and this beautiful young girls photograph
With the writing, darling come home to me
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9. |
Storytime
05:48
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I got off work earlier today. Decided to walk home, whistling all the way.
Down our street through our front gate. Something was not right.
Whose shoes are these? They don’t smell like mine.
And whose jacket is this? Someone’s been dressing up real fine.
I looked around for my wife. She’s usually outside when the weather’s this nice.
But the garden lay silent as a mouse. So I wandered back into the house.
Whose pants are these? They are not my size.
And these aren't my car keys. Even though they look really nice.
Then I heard noises from upstairs. Sounded like my wife was playing basketball.
I thought it was an odd thing to do in our bedroom. So I decided to go check it out.
Whose boxers are these? I really don’t understand.
Because I'm pretty sure these batman boxers aren’t mine. Could they belong to another man?
Upstairs I meet my best friend Bob. Standing naked in the hall.
Behind him I can see my wife lying naked on the bed. Seems they haven’t been playing basketball at all.
Bob what’s going on? I’ve known you my whole life.
Still when I'm gone, you're here pretending to play basketball with my wife.
Oh Bob you better run, or I'm gonna hurt you real bad.
Because I do not find this fun. And deep down inside me I am actually really mad.
Bob jumped from the balcony. Hit a rock, and broke his leg.
Which gave me plenty good time, to get the shovel from the garden shed.
And with the shovel I hit Bob in the head until I was pretty sure he had to be dead.
Did not feel neither remorse nor pain, as I painted the ground with pieces of his brain
When I felt that sting in my back, I never could have guessed my wife just hit me with an axe.
She obviously cared more for Bob than me, I assumed as my body fell to my feet
She started dragging Bob towards the car, I screamed, you dumb slut didn't you notice his scar?
There ain't nothing where his head’s supposed to be, I'm not sure you can fix that with surgery.
She started crying I laughed and said, jesus, you ought to get the vacuum cleaner to get up all the pieces.
They disappeared, I spat Bob in the face, which was easy because it was lying all over the place.
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10. |
Ståle Støggsterk
03:39
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Hei æ hette ståle støggsterk, æ kan spander på dæ beinbrudd og hauværk
for når æ drekk karsk går æ berserk, og da må æ finn mæ en taisljpank å kværsk
når æ kjæm på fæst i biln min, kjæm det sprengannes fjortisa som syns æ e dritfin
æ tar dem me i baksetet og spandere breinnvin, og da kan du væl forstå at æ får klin
no i helga va det dænsbændkveill, æ drakk heimbrent og alt va på stell
så plutsle så æ ei sånn skjitnætt sneill, og da skjønt æ no at det m8 no bli ho no i kveill
men æ fekk hør ho va sammen me en, æ så derre idioten og han va itj nå pen
æ tenkt det vart no opp t mæ å årn opp i d henne hen og sørg for at dama fekk den mann ho fortjent
så æ gjekk opp t dama hass og sang
Hei pus vil du ha mann eller mus æ drekk heimbrent fra kainn han der mainn drekk rusbrus
æ like å eta sigaretta og svelg snus, han derren sjer ut som han passe best te å eta grus
å studere’n i trondheim det kan heinnj, men låvverbåjn din e itj lik jævla tøff uten teinnj
håre hass e itj lik forbainna langt når det breinn, og æ sku likt å sjettn prøv å skriv eksamen med brekte heinn.
å e taisljpanken intelektuell, det va no itj så forpult intelektuelt å kom hit i kveill for no e det plutselig bærre kor sterk han e som gjeill, og der veit no æ at æ e no sterk så det heill
sei du det spælle skjitklatten gitar, sånn homofil gitarklimpring e da itj musikk for en kar, det einast som tælle e kor massiv subwoofer du har, og der tippe æ at me min 50” servinmervin så e væl seiern ganske klar
ættpå vart ho ståandes å sjå på mæ, før ho plutselig sa “æ lik itj dæ æ” æ vart helt sjåkkert og ropa “hæ!?” men da bærre sprang ho og gjømt sæ.
æ mærka at folk sto og så på mæ, dem peika og flira og kviskra i mellom sæ æ sa om det e nånn som vil si nå te mæ så kan dokk still dokk opp på lin så ska æ klin dokk rett ned æ.
Så trøkka æ innj øuan på en kar som itj slutta glo, sparka en ainna en te det slutta kom ut blo. Før æ slo løus en kjæve eill to og så tru æ æ knust en driter med tryne te en kar på do.
Sprakk en skaille me ei foill ølflask. knakk tre nasa på ett og samme judospark, reiv av hainna på en kar som truddn va barsk før æ gan 3dj-grads forbreinning i tryne med karsk.
Vakten kom og sa Ståle det e nokk no, sjå på dæ sjøl dekt i ainna mainns blod. no e det på tide at du tar det litt med ro men æ fekk jo fan itj me mæ at det denne va vakte før æ slo.
Ættekvart va d få folk at som sto og æ tenkt hei det på tide å drekk sæ foill no, æ fant fram heimbrentsdonken min og drakk opp resten før æ verkele tok tak i saken og fekk fart på festen
Æ e tørst som en hest og no ska vi på etterfest og der kan jo du lur på kæm som kjæm te å drekk mest. heimbrent e itj det tomt for før æ ha dråkke siste rest og æ syns at karsk uten kaffe e best. kom igjen karra vi må drægga me nå høno, æ gidditj sett på pøls-ættefæst som en homo, sjå der legg det ei på 12 år og spyr blo, finnj dokk ega høn så bærre bær æ me mæ ho æ no. Ta no å ti litt stillj di fillj æ e itj så foillj, sjølsagt klare æ å kjør bil ja her e itj det nå toill. Det e lænsmainnj som slit om han no ska ha kontroll for da e d no uansett hass sett hau som kjæm te å roill. nei sjå satan her va det jo kalas, hele kåken sjer jo ut som et takras, heimbrentskainn i hainn ja no gidde itj æ vent på glas nei no drekk æ mæ kanakas, HEI!
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